Morten Juul's

In my recent blog post on “spreading the love” online, I mentioned the importance of making people feel appreciated and the need to pay attention to your social media “community”.

I just wanted to post a quick blog post on a perfect example of a way to recognize your community and make people feel appreciated. Marie Forleo uses a great technique on her blog “Marie Forleo – Live Rich, Happy & Hot” where she makes her readers part of her video blog posts by going through their comments on her previous blog posts.

Marie uses her video blog optimally by great video editing and showing the viewer herself on camera as she browses her blog, a website or whatever she’s talking about at that moment. See an example of her use of the “video response” in her post on “growing your business with social media”.

As you can see, she makes her visitors feel noticed and appreciated. She makes her blog about two-way communication, makes it a “social” media and I sure that she saw a huge increase both visitors and re-visitors to her blog after she started video blogging this way.

I’d like to know what your opinions of video blogging are? Do you normally watch the video, when a (word) blogger sometimes makes a video blog?

All people are different and all the same. We all have different thoughts, different views and different lives, but we still respond the same to various input. In my recent blog post, where I invited you be an A.S.S. online, the second “S” stood for “salute” regarding people’s need to feel appreciated.

On Facebook or Twitter we all notice different things, when we go online, in truth we don’t notice 99% of what’s going on (and thankfully so). We select where to direct our attention by only noticing what is important to us. For this reason, when someone directs their attention our way, they recognize our importance. By noticing us, they’re paying us a compliment. We automatically become more friendly towards this person and in turn notice them.

When dealing with group of people as is done on social media website it’s impossible to pay attention to everyone, but recognize as many as possible. Make an effort to notice new people, talk, acknowledge them as individuals. That’s what the “social” in social media is all about. Remember, a little attention goes a long, long way.

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Finding and getting “friends” on Twitter, Myspace or Facebook is easy. Often it only takes an impersonal invite for someone to become your friend through social media. However as empty as the invite was, as empty will the online friendship be, if you don’t make an actual connection with the person.

Finding the right connection with people online can be difficult due to the high amount of data and information flying around. Your real “friendship invitation” might drown in a sea of information. In a recent blog post I touched this issue, “Interaction Good, Stalking Bad – How to Make First Contact”.

In order to make an actual connection with someone, both parties will need to “click”. There will need to be some kind of attraction between the parties, whether it’s business attraction, personal attraction or both. In this regards, it’s useful to keep in mind that deep down people crave the same things, which I’ve called A.S.S. (to grab your attention mostly). These are:

1. Acceptance

“Deep down even the most hardened criminal is starving for the same thing that motivates the innocent baby: Love and acceptance.” (Lily Fairchilde)

Everyone wants acceptance from someone. It can be anything really, but mostly people wants acceptance of who they are. In order to connect with someone you need to accept them for who they are. Allow them to be themselves and influence them positively through your own actions.

2. Seal of Approval

“Getting people to like you is merely the other side of liking them.” (Norman Vincent Peale)

I recently wrote a blog post on finding happiness through social media, where I suggested that you’d try paying two (genuine) compliments per day to someone in your social media network. No matter who you are it feels good to get approval.

Look at the actions of the person that you’re trying to connect with and find something to approve in these no matter the size of the action. The important thing is that it’s something that you genuinely approve of and that you keep at it. With each compliment you’ll let the other person know that you approve of their actions and your relationship will grow. On Twitter this could be something as simple as a “retweet” or a comment on something the person said.

3. Salute

“The deepest principle of human nature is the craving to be appreciated.” (William James)

The third point is probably the most important when building a relationship through social media. Treat people as if they are valuable to you. Obviously they are valuable to you, otherwise you wouldn’t use all this energy to find a connection with them, but it might not be obvious to them. Let them know that they’re important to you. Thank them. Makes them feel special, that they are an individual and not just part of the mob.

On social media sites this latter point is easy, but it’s as easy to do wrong. Everyone needs an individual message just for them that basically says, “I salute you.”

Finally, I’d like to add that in order for you to get an actual connection with someone online, this someone obviously at some point needs to “give something back” to you. Even if it’s not your motivation, usually you’ll find that this will be the case anyhow. Whatever attracted you to the person in the first place will as a rule shine through at some point.

What about you? Have you found business relationship through social media that has blossomed into a profitable “friendship”?

Photo credit Stock.XCHNG

In a recent blog post on setting up your business brain trust, I asked the question of who you find inspirational on social media websites and whether you’re interacting with them or not.

Many people find it hard to make the first move when it comes to human relations. With social media it’s easier, but people are still afraid to get burned, to miss the opportunity. What happens then is that people wait for the right moment to “make their move”, maybe even a sign from the other party.

Firstly, assume that the other person is going to be friendly (or professional). Secondly, act as you wish the other person will act towards you. Just relax, be friendly and act as if you take for granted that the other person do like you.

Sometimes the chemistry is there, other times it isn’t. Don’t try too hard to get the other person to like you. Remember that there is a fine line between charming and too charming.

Making the initial contact online there are no sweaty hands, no awkward smile or falling down at just the wrong moment. There is however a lot of communication flying around, a lot of clutter. This means that the initial try to make first contact, to get noticed, might not be successful. However it’s not because that the person doesn’t want to speak to you, it’s might just be that for one reason or another, the person simply didn’t hear you.

If you fail to make this first contact, try again. Don’t be an eager-beaver, but don’t give up either. The person you’re trying to get in contact with might have several different contact points. Try them all. If the person has a blog, comment on it. Make yourself seen and keep trying. As long as you’re not annoying, pushy or make the other person feel stalked, chances are that contact will happen eventually.

Photo Credit PD Photo

Social media marketing in a nutshell is ”getting what you want by giving other people what they want” or said in another way, you can be happy and make others happy at the same time, you can be prosperous and make others successful as well. That is basically what making your business be a part of the social media scene is all about.

To find real success, it’s vital to understand what it is people really want. Learning a few rules and tricks about human relation and applying them to your social media business model won’t get you a succesful relationship with your customers. It’s necessary to look at and understand how the human nature works and why people often react as they do. Understanding the ”why” will enable you and your business to respond with the ”how”.

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